A Drifter Among Us

It didn't happen on purpose. For some people these sort of things you just slip into. The temptation just wasn't there for me until I got involved in the music scene out east. I didn't have my first taste of alcohol or smoke until I was 19. Once I started though, it was something I found easy to indulge in.

I wouldn't consider myself a heavy drinker by any means, but I enjoy an occasional spirit from time to time. And sometimes I enjoy too much of it. From the time I was 20 until now, I can't, for the life of me, remember a time I've gone a significant period without having a drink. I'm realizing now how much of a crutch my vices have become to me as I'm going through a 2 month alcohol fast.

Drinking is a crazy thing. It is so nestled into the very fiber of our social lives. For a majority of us, we dedicate at least two nights a week (Friday,Saturday) to socializing with friends, maybe family, over a few drinks and lively conversation. I'm starting to doubt whether we as a society know how to interact with one another without the comfort of a glass bottle in our hands.

We've connected consumption with enjoyment but disconnected our head from our hearts.

It's been only two weeks since I started my fast, and for the most part my life has been pretty uneventful. Last night I had to force myself to leave my apartment for some sort of interaction with the world outside. I discovered it's sort of a lonely world out there if you you're not a drinker. I went to the mall and then went and saw a movie with my roommate. Aside from the fact that the movie was great, I wouldn't consider this too lively of an evening.

I'm realizing that there are many things that I'm not sufficient in. This will never change as hard as I try. I may not, at this point, have physical ailments, but I definitely have ailments in my character and behavior. All I can do is seek what needs to be opened in my life. "Ephphatha." As the two months of this year have progressed I've done more abstaining and unselfish things than I've done for quite sometime. I'm a work a progress, yes. But I know that without the help of a loving savior I'll never be open and exposed to the life I've been created for. There's a secret to my heart somewhere out there that I'm on an adventure to find.

And they brought to him a man who was deaf and had a speech impediment, and they begged him to lay his hand on him. And taking him aside from the crowd privately, he put his fingers into his ears, and after spitting touched his tongue. And looking up to heaven, he sighed and said to him, “Ephphatha,” that is, “Be opened.” And his ears were opened, his tongue was released, and he spoke plainly.