A Drifter Among Us: Got Down On One Knee

Got Down On One Knee

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It's been so long ago since I consistantly blogged that a lot has transpired over the course of a year. I got engaged in July to the woman of my dreams, Megan. Here's the story almost 10 months later:

I had agonized and stressed over it for a month. From the time I bought the ring, it had begun to burn a hole in my pocket. I had different ideas, but none really felt quite right.

Then the perfect plan came to me as we were sitting in church.

For the longest time, I had kept a journal. In it I wrote just about everything...thoughts, notes, passages from books, quotes from movies,TV or sermons, and events that occurred throughout each day. As I skimmed through the pages trying to get to the end, the entry from our first date caught my eye. Immediately I knew that I wanted her to see what I felt about her going all the way back to our beginning.

That Tuesday I called her up and asked her to come over to my apartment to meet me before "going out to dinner with friends." I had conveniently placed the journal on my coffee table so that I could nonchalantly tell her that there were some things I had journaled that I wanted to show her.

Before showing the entries to her, I made her promise not to make fun of me. She politely agreed so I very awkwardly walked over to my stereo and queued the iPod to play a few John Mayer tunes. (I'm a sucker for JM and needed to get the mood right!)

I opened the journal to our first "unofficial" date. (I thought I had made it clear, but she was oblivious) For those of you who don't know the story, Megan and I's first date ended up in the Emergency Room at Barnes Jewish after she fainted (twice) and hit her head on the ground pretty badly at a concert. I still like to think she was overcome by my presence! Anyways, I had kept the ER visitors pass from that night and had stuck it in my journal entry for Oct. 13.

I then flipped a few pages to where I had saved a receipt from a night we had awesome conversations at a local watering hole. A few more pages, and we were on the entry for our first "official date," where it was clearly defined that this wasn't just hanging out!

I then turned to the entry that told the story of our first kiss, and how nervous/excited I was about it.

There were a few entries after that where I wrote about feeling something strong for her and how I felt that God had been working on my heart for a very long time to prepare me for something that I was in the midst of.

There was the entry that contained our Valentine's Day, and contained the sweet card she made for me.

There was another card I had saved that she gave me when I had a bad week at work.

I flipped to the day where I told her I loved her for the first time.

Then, there was the entry a month later where she returned the sentiment.

I flipped through the rest of it pretty fast at that time because I had written about wanting to marry her, but I didn't want her to know that yet.

At that point, I handed over my journal to Megan and asked her to read the rest for herself. In the pages that followed I wrote out a note...to her...about what I loved about her.

"I love you because of how unique and mysterious you are to me. In you I found something that is refreshing, inspiring, and comfortable. My head and heart are wrapped up in the adventure of discovering new things about you.

I love you because your sweet smile brightens up the room you’re in. Your laugh is contagious and brings joy to my soul when I hear it. You have an inviting glow about you that has made an impression on me.

I love you because you have grace and beauty. You overlook all my little imperfections and see me as no one else does. There is a gentleness about you that I get lost in. You are comfortable with who you are and to me that is beautiful.

I love the warmth of your hugs. The way you cling to me makes me feel wonderfully loved and accepted.

I love your kisses. Your lips are sensuous and soft. I can never get enough of the thoughtfulness you show when you kiss me on the forehead or nose.

I love you because of the story of how we met. I know no coincidences exist, only divine intervention. God led me to you; I thank him nightly for that gift.

I love you because of your sense of adventure. You have a wild, imaginative, creative heart. You make me want to explore all there is with you.

I love you because I’ve had my share of heartbreak, but you have a redeeming quality that has restored me. I’ve dreamt of it, waited for it, cried for it, and needed it. Now with you, I have it."

I had her turn to the last page, which contained the very last entry of this journal full of stories, feelings, and history.